28 days.
Seems short – over in a blink most times. But lately it feels like a death
sentence. We met February 8th
and you left the country on the 10th, for 28 days.
Two dates in two days – two amazing dates
where we soaked up one others lives and yes, a rather obvious sexual
chemistry. We went further than we
should have on our second date – perhaps it was eased by its location, my
apartment. We wanted to behave and we
were doing a hell of a job at it despite making out like school girls on my
couch. We were doing a hell of a job at
it until you said to me, “Let’s take this to the bed.” Neither of us had had anything to drink, it
was completely clear minded action – and without a moment’s hesitation, you scooped
me up and carried me over to my bed. I
have never experienced anything like that; my body and mind immediately turned
to mush.
Your touch is hypnotic and so incredibly smooth –
it felt as if I were being drugged ever so slowly. I could feel my body loosening and my mind
being entirely at ease. I don’t want to
rush this – I want to take time to get to know you and discover what makes you,
you. I see a level of potential that I have
never seen in any of my previous relationships.
I see you coming home with me to meet my family, having a family dinner
and plenty of conversation. I’ve never
seen that until I met you. Our
connection is rather clear, conversation is fluid – no awkward silence, plenty
of laughter.
I know you are on the other side of the world, but
I still find your nearly complete silence confusing. You said you would reach out and you only
have when I reached out to say I couldn’t find your ring at my place. I don’t think I would be so puzzled by it if
you weren’t active on the dating site we met on. If you can check that, then how hard is it to
send me a text message? I realize you
are incredibly busy and I don’t want to be THAT girl, but I am. I am sorry for that. But at the same time, I respect it – for it
shows you are focused on your job, you pride yourself in your work. I find that so very attractive.
I know we both said we don’t want to rush this –
so truly why would you want to reach out to someone you barely know. Plus, we both agree that we prefer to
communicate in person. Even lengthy
e-mails, as much as we would enjoy it, seems like it would take away the fun of
getting to know one another sitting across from each other in a restaurant or
walking along the Hi-Line bundled up and clutching cups of hot chocolate.
That is what I need to embrace – that we will
spend time together when you return. We
will look at each other from across the table, feeling that wave of nervousness
mixed with arousal – taking it all in. I
need to busy up my schedule to not have my thoughts dominated by you. It’s the only way I can avoid over thinking
this new, exciting opportunity. And who’s
to say you are truly not thinking about me?
I’ll never know until you return – it’s that sense of mystery that my
sister always preaches. Wanting to know
more, slowly, but surely you will build towards something. Don’t reveal all your cards at once – this is
not implying that this is a game, it’s just part of the way dating works.
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